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What’s a Therapeutic Full Disclosure?

It’s been the wild, wild West when it comes to betrayal recovery and sexual disclosures. Many couples are given poor advice or no direction at all. “Twenty years of deception can be divulged in fifteen minutes, leaving the wife shell-shocked, confused, and loaded with unwanted shrapnel in her skin. These mishandled admissions are more common […]

Queen 7

Queen of Denial

As betrayed partners we often begin to question our sanity after days, months, and years of deception and sexual betrayal. It’s both unnerving and terrifying – like sitting on a powder keg of ‘not knowing.’ When our significant other continues to sexually act out and things don’t change we naturally begin to wonder if we’re […]

Is Porn an Affair v6

Is Porn an Affair?

Recently I was asked to do a FB Live surrounding the question “Is Porn an Affair?” Like you, I’m not surprised by how many conversations, debates, and opinions surround porn. People openly share their thoughts about whether porn is helpful or hurtful. So, I decided to write this blog in such a way that both […]

3 Pillars to Healthy Healing (1)

Untangling Grief, Triggers, & Forgiveness

I received another email from a betrayed partner this week (let’s call her Jenny) who was deeply hurt by a well-intentioned pastor who said, “Jenny, I don’t think you’ve completely forgiven Tom. As long as you’re getting triggered, you’re still holding onto resentment and unforgiveness. Would you like to pray right now, and let it […]

Your Heart Matters

Your Heart Matters

One never forgets what rises up inside as we walk into a room of other betrayed partners. It’s the kind of darkened shame even sunglasses can’t hide. It feels like we might as well have “not enough,” “failure,” or “defective,” written on our forehead. Bottomline, I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to […]

3 Pillars to Healthy Healing

3 Pillars to Healthy Healing

Questions like these, much like a hamster on a wheel, make us feel like we’re on a road going nowhere. We have tons of questions, some with no answers. Whether the answers are known or unknown, I’d like to help you with your path toward healing. Painfully, I’ve watched many amazing people become shattered by […]

2019-2 Have His Cake and Eat It Too

Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

Conner loved me. Yet Conner sexually acted out with other women too. He had affairs, regularly used porn, and even engaged with prostitutes. His struggle wasn’t a one-time event. It was a lifestyle of secret keeping. When I say lifestyle, I mean it was a day-in- and-day-out problem of sexual infidelities over a long period […]

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Digging Out

There’s nothing more discouraging or frustrating than to be stuck in a strait jacket of pain. It makes us want to send out an all-points bulletin to the bewildered department for HELP! We’re bent over in despair and embouldered (I’m making this word up) in hurt. The prefix em means to be “put into, put […]