It’s been the wild, wild West when it comes to betrayal recovery and sexual disclosures. Many couples are given poor advice or no direction at all. “Twenty years of deception can be divulged in fifteen minutes, leaving the wife shell-shocked, confused, and loaded with unwanted shrapnel in her skin. These mishandled admissions are more common […]
As betrayed partners we often begin to question our sanity after days, months, and years of deception and sexual betrayal. It’s both unnerving and terrifying – like sitting on a powder keg of ‘not knowing.’ When our significant other continues to sexually act out and things don’t change we naturally begin to wonder if we’re […]
Recently I was asked to do a FB Live surrounding the question “Is Porn an Affair?” Like you, I’m not surprised by how many conversations, debates, and opinions surround porn. People openly share their thoughts about whether porn is helpful or hurtful. So, I decided to write this blog in such a way that both […]
I received another email from a betrayed partner this week (let’s call her Jenny) who was deeply hurt by a well-intentioned pastor who said, “Jenny, I don’t think you’ve completely forgiven Tom. As long as you’re getting triggered, you’re still holding onto resentment and unforgiveness. Would you like to pray right now, and let it […]
One never forgets what rises up inside as we walk into a room of other betrayed partners. It’s the kind of darkened shame even sunglasses can’t hide. It feels like we might as well have “not enough,” “failure,” or “defective,” written on our forehead. Bottomline, I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to […]
Questions like these, much like a hamster on a wheel, make us feel like we’re on a road going nowhere. We have tons of questions, some with no answers. Whether the answers are known or unknown, I’d like to help you with your path toward healing. Painfully, I’ve watched many amazing people become shattered by […]
Conner loved me. Yet Conner sexually acted out with other women too. He had affairs, regularly used porn, and even engaged with prostitutes. His struggle wasn’t a one-time event. It was a lifestyle of secret keeping. When I say lifestyle, I mean it was a day-in- and-day-out problem of sexual infidelities over a long period […]
There’s nothing more discouraging or frustrating than to be stuck in a strait jacket of pain. It makes us want to send out an all-points bulletin to the bewildered department for HELP! We’re bent over in despair and embouldered (I’m making this word up) in hurt. The prefix em means to be “put into, put […]
Just this month I heard from a mom who saw me speak at the Braveheart’s Virtual Summit. Her question was both real and heartfelt. She inspired me to share a few thoughts that I believe might be helpful to many of us, and especially our kids.
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to Thanksgiving it’s incredibly difficult to know what to do with “what was” and “what will be” when betrayal is dangling in the mix. Forcing a smile with Conner’s family was really tough. Pretending
After publishing my blog “The Morning Glory Story” I heard back from several women who commented on their own Morning Glory stories. These are great stories and, much like parables, are aimed at sharing truth. I thought I’d share
It was a hot, clammy day in Austin, Texas, 103 degrees to be exact. As we pulled into the parking lot our driver said, “You’d best take your make-up ladies ‘less you plan on coming back to a dripping pool of lipstick soup.” I’d been asked to speak at a singles women’s event called
One of my earliest childhood memories was sitting in my back yard watching snails slowly glide across the cobblestone path toward our flower patch. Even if I didn’t get up early enough to see them skid by, they were sure to leave a shiny twisted trail of hardened goo to let me know
I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t have to step into one situation or another – big or small, when I don’t have to find my FEARLESS. Think about it. When things are happening around us that cause us to feel unsafe, fear is a normal emotion. So, what am […]
Recently I had one of our Brave One partners ask a question about her husband’s porn use. More specifically and painfully the extent that he went to cover-up for his behavior. As I was responding to her question I thought it would make a good blog topic as so many of us have situations that […]
I am having a very difficult time in my marriage. I’m a strong-willed person and keep trying to fight to make our marriage work. But one little disappointment or flash memory and I go into a downward spiral and just want the torment to end, and just end our relationship. My husband has always had an issue […]
So here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for. Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal has arrived and you’ve been at the center of every grounding-breaking step. You are so worth it! Three weeks ago I sequestered myself away, saw no one, wore the same stinky sweats and lived with uncombed […]
Don’t be surprised when Valentine’s Day comes around if you find yourself in the middle of a heart-breaking dilemma. How do we bravely navigate this day of love after betrayal? “He gave me a card and signed it, Love Dave. What am I supposed to do with that when I caught him looking at porn […]
Seriously, there’s nothing like the holidays to highlight what is real and what is really difficult. When we’re impacted by sexual betrayal the memories we’ve known are overwhelmed by what’s staring us right in the face – P.A.I.N. It doesn’t matter where you look….
Growing up I lived in area known for having monsoons. Weird word, huh? Definition: Big scary storm. Lots of lightning, crashing thunder and flooding rains. As the storm rolled in I loved to sit on my bed with the curtains wide open — and watch. Last night I jumped out of a deep sleep when […]
