Untangling Grief, Triggers, & Forgiveness
I received another email from a betrayed partner this week (let’s call her Jenny) who was deeply hurt by a well-intentioned pastor who said, “Jenny, I don’t think you’ve completely forgiven Tom. As long as you're getting triggered, you’re still holding onto resentment and unforgiveness. Would you like to pray right now, and let it go?” It’s been 4 years since D-Day, when Tom’s infidelity surfaced. Jenny hadn’t been aware that during their 16 marriage, Tom had been looking at pornography and frequenting strip clubs. Things were under wraps until she saw a text from an old girlfriend of his. A girl he dated in High School. Jenny was absolutely devastated. After four years and many hours of therapy, recovery groups, conferences, etc., the couple had moved into honesty and…