It’s been the wild, wild West when it comes to betrayal recovery and sexual disclosures. Many couples are given poor advice or no direction at all. “Twenty years of deception can be divulged in fifteen minutes, leaving the wife shell-shocked, confused, and loaded with unwanted shrapnel in her skin. These mishandled admissions are more common […]
As betrayed partners we often begin to question our sanity after days, months, and years of deception and sexual betrayal. It’s both unnerving and terrifying – like sitting on a powder keg of ‘not knowing.’ When our significant other continues to sexually act out and things don’t change we naturally begin to wonder if we’re […]
Recently I was asked to do a FB Live surrounding the question “Is Porn an Affair?” Like you, I’m not surprised by how many conversations, debates, and opinions surround porn. People openly share their thoughts about whether porn is helpful or hurtful. So, I decided to write this blog in such a way that both […]
What is Betrayal Trauma?
When the person we've loved and trusted to protect us, is now the one who's betrayed and deceived us - our world implodes. So much so, we can barely catch our breath. I often hear the words...
"The pain is unbearable."
"My emotions are raw."
"I feel dazed, confused and alone"
"My heart and mind feel disconnected from each other."
"I can't get my footing, it's like I'm sinking in quicksand."
You might as well be in a hospital emergency room. Can you see the theme?
It is impact. Just like a person dazed from an unexpected accident, military ambush or life threatening experience our body and mind become overwhelmed. Look how many words have to do with a visceral reaction in your body?
a survivor of post-traumatic stress.
The deception around the betrayal damages
our trust. We no longer feel safe.
Betrayal Through Pornography
If someone has betrayed you through pornography use or some other form of infidelity most likely your body has set off a series of alarms to let you know that things are not okay on the home front. Feelings like anxiety, panic, numbness, exhaustion, grief, depression, stress and fear
are common experiences after betrayal.
this. You don't deserve the betrayal that's
happened to you. What do you need to get safe?
What do you need to heal?
As a trauma survivor, you need care.
You can heal. What happened to you doesn't have to define who you are. Taking care of your heart, mind, body and spirit are necessary steps for you to heal.